Dead Space 2...WOW!!!

I have just completed Dead Space 2.  For those unfamiliar with the series, check the trailers about moms hating this game.  Play five minutes and you will see why.  The enemies are undead and the only way to kill them is dismember them or pin them against a wall with their own limbs.  Headshots do not count here.  You must rend the limbs from the bodies of your enemies.  Most of the time.  Sometimes, you get swarmed by undead children and shots anywhere count.  Or there are undead exploding babies that you must shoot.  In a nutshell, blood, guts, and genocide galore.

Now, even with all this action and gore, that is not the toughest part to stomach.  This games is, for lack of a better term, pant's-pooping spooky.  Half the time, you are wandering around in the dark with only the flashlight and the gun to illuminate your path.  Oh, and did I forget to say ammo is very limited?  So every shot counts.  Trust me, the worst thing to happen is during a middle of a firefight, you run dry.

And even with all of the gore and suspense, behind it is a pretty solid (yet repetitive) story.  You have picked up a few years after the first game ends aboard a large space station called the Sprawl.  Crap goes wrong (as it usually does) and you spend the game exploring the station to find what caused said crap to go wrong while wrestling with your own personal demons.

Overall, a very solid gaming experience.  Graphics are top notch,  cameras and fighting systems are fairly intuitive.  You may want to wait for a slight price drop, since the story mode is rather short.  Otherwise a very good game and recommended for any serious gamer's library.

Adaptations Suck...Period.

Well, got this far without a rant...and now I rant.  The central theme is movie adaptations...period.  Comics, books, TV shows, video games; movie adaptations in general suck big donkey dong...especially video game adaptations.  Don't get me wrong.  Some succeed in at least meeting not only expectations and level of goodness set forth by the original material (Fight Club, Gone With The Wind, The Exorcist to name a few), but even rarer have (in this humble writers opinion) exceeded the source material (The Shining...and I can't think of anything else).  But in a nutshell, they (pardon my language) suck ass.  Perfectly good books have been ruined (Dreamcatcher and The Ruins off the top of my head) due to movie people not only refusing to stick to source material, but for allotting proper resources to do the damn thing right.  T.V. shows done this way is a good example.   Anyone remember Dragon Ball: Evolution?  No.  Either you refused to watch it (lucky), or you did watch it and promptly either repressed the memory or chose to eliminate it from their minds altogether before they felt like taking the Oedipus route and plucking the eyes out of their own heads.  And although comic movies are in right now, and some are pretty good, quite a number of them achieved suckatude on an almost biblical scale.  Electra...suck.  Fantastic Four...lame.  Howard the Duck...you know, I could go on, but I think I might just stroke out.  Oh, and last but not least, let us not forget the video games.  I honestly cannot think of any video game adaptations and think that any of them where even passable.

So, why do they fail.  First, lack of following of source material.  Ultimate example, Dragonball: Evolution.  Kept the name of characters.  Thats it.  When you have such a cult following and say, hmmm, nope, go with something new.  But keep the character names...that will make the fanboys happy at least.  Same goes with dreamcatcher. Second, lack of monies kills.  Now I am not saying just throw money for the sake of throwing.  But at least provide a reasonable goddamn budget.  Cheaper is not always better.  Third, choosing a series that was incredibly successful and trying to put it into a different format for the sake of greed.  No.  Fucking no.  This applies to all video games thus far made.  Do you honestly believe that you can take something with 30+ hours of interactivity and condense it into 90 minute film? So again, fucking no.  Interesting side note, the last tip of fail is often combined with previous two to create a true genocide of a film.

How to succeed, or at least get onto the road of not creating movies whose only purpose is firewood or human waste receptacles?  For starters, avoid doing stupid shit as mentioned above.  Follow the original story.  It was popular in the first place  jackass, so at least by following the original story somewhat will help you avoid disaster.  Give your film a proper budget. Now Im not saying just throw money at a project.  Lesson learned from Waterworld.  But at least give them money enough to give them a chance.  Don't put video games into movies.  It ends badly.  If you have to put it into another format, think mini-series or television, so you don't have to go crazy with cuts just to get a watchable product.  Japanese do it and it works.  This bit also applies to all other source material.  And finally, and most importantly, dont be fucking greedy.  Alot of problems would simply not exist if greed were taken out of the equation.  Without greed, shit like Star Wars Holiday Special wouldn't exist.  Don't do something only for the effect that a few extra bucks could be earned out of it.  Make a decent product so that we the viewer feel we wisely spent ten bucks to see it.

That is my rant.  Hope you liked it.  If you don't, fuck you.  I don't care anyway.

The end of an era

"So here is my story, may it bring 
Some smiles and a tear or so, 
It happened once upon a time, 
Far away, and long ago, 
Outside the night wind keens and wails, 
Come listen to me, the Teller of Tales!" 
-Brian Jacques (Lord Brocktree)


If you have not yet heard, this past weekend, the world lost one of its great authors, as well as a personal favorite of mine.  On February fifth, Brian Jacques died of a heart attack at the age of 71.  Those of you who are not aware of who he is, here is a brief overview.  He is a British author who is most well known for the Redwall series, a series of books accounting the adventures of the animals of Mossflower on an almost Lord of the Rings scale.  Recently, he was also working on a series called Castaways of the Flying Dutchman, which is also superb.  His books have sold more than 20 million copies worldwide and have been translated into 27 different languages.


Beyond the straight facts, he was also one of my favorite authors, as well as a favorite among many others.  A great deal of my childhood was spent stooped over his book, following the adventures of the Long Patrol, the denizens of Redwall and Salamandastron, the Guossom, and many others.  He will be deeply missed.

The Oscar Nominations are In.

Well, the oscar nominations have been publicized and I am pretty pleased with the selections.  While I will not go into some of the smaller categories I will give my picks for the large ones.


Best Original Score-Inception
Tough category but I will have to go with Inception.  Just sitting in the theatre listening to the growing blasts of horns just gives me goosebumps.

Best Song-We Belong Together (Toy Story 3)
Come on, who am I to go against Randy Newman?

Best Adapted Screenplay-True Grit
Alright, before you start an uproar about not picking social network, just watch true grit (and no, not the one with John Wayne).  Listen to the beauty and authenticity of the language.  It stays so very close to the original hit novel.  And that is all I have to say.

Best Original Screenplay-Inception
By far, one of the most original scripts this year, if not in the last 10 years. Christopher Nolan, my hat is off to you.

Best Visual Effects-Inception
This needs no explanation.  When you flip an entire city and mess with basic physics and pull it off realistically, well, there you go.

Best Cinematography-Black Swan
You bet.  Nuff said.

Best Costume Design-Alice in Wonderland
Not the best of pictures (in my humble opinion) but the costumes were top notch

Best Animated Feature Film-Toy Story 3
Head and shoulders above the rest.

Best Actor in a Leading Role-Jeff Bridges (True Grit)
John Wayne won an Oscar for his role as Rooster Cogburn in 1969 and I think Jeff Bridges will take it home again this year.  His portrayal of the drunken one-eyed marshal is impeccable.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role-Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)
This was a very tough category to choose.  And as much as I loved Jeremy Renner's performance in the Town, I have to give this one to Geoffrey Rush.

Best Actress in a Leading Role-Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Another tough category, but Natalie Portman strikes gold.  Even the trailer gave me the willies.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role-Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)
This is her first feature length film and what a start it is.  Perhaps the best performance of the year.

Best Director-David Fincher (The Social Network)
One of my favorite directors (Se7en, Fight Club) now wins big with the Social Network.  As much as love the rest of the directors, this one just had that little extra.

Best Picture-Tie-True Grit, Social Network, Inception
I crapped out in this category.  I simply can't choose,  In my memory, this is the closest Best Picture category I can remember.  Each and every nomination on this list has earned it.  And even after a narrowed the choices down to three, I still can't decide.  It should be fun to see who wins.

Biggest Oscar Snuff-The Town
Okay, I know this isn't an award, but please.  Every year, one film gets snuffed. Only one nomination.  At least give Ben Affleck (as much as I hate to say it) some directing props.  Geez.

Welcome

Plato said that the beginning is the most important part of the work.  Well, here I am at the beginning.  And honestly, I'm not entirely sure what to do.  So I thought I should welcome you all to the blog.  So...welcome.  How's that for a beginning?