I have just completed Dead Space 2. For those unfamiliar with the series, check the trailers about moms hating this game. Play five minutes and you will see why. The enemies are undead and the only way to kill them is dismember them or pin them against a wall with their own limbs. Headshots do not count here. You must rend the limbs from the bodies of your enemies. Most of the time. Sometimes, you get swarmed by undead children and shots anywhere count. Or there are undead exploding babies that you must shoot. In a nutshell, blood, guts, and genocide galore.
Now, even with all this action and gore, that is not the toughest part to stomach. This games is, for lack of a better term, pant's-pooping spooky. Half the time, you are wandering around in the dark with only the flashlight and the gun to illuminate your path. Oh, and did I forget to say ammo is very limited? So every shot counts. Trust me, the worst thing to happen is during a middle of a firefight, you run dry.
And even with all of the gore and suspense, behind it is a pretty solid (yet repetitive) story. You have picked up a few years after the first game ends aboard a large space station called the Sprawl. Crap goes wrong (as it usually does) and you spend the game exploring the station to find what caused said crap to go wrong while wrestling with your own personal demons.
Overall, a very solid gaming experience. Graphics are top notch, cameras and fighting systems are fairly intuitive. You may want to wait for a slight price drop, since the story mode is rather short. Otherwise a very good game and recommended for any serious gamer's library.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Adaptations Suck...Period.
Well, got this far without a rant...and now I rant. The central theme is movie adaptations...period. Comics, books, TV shows, video games; movie adaptations in general suck big donkey dong...especially video game adaptations. Don't get me wrong. Some succeed in at least meeting not only expectations and level of goodness set forth by the original material (Fight Club, Gone With The Wind, The Exorcist to name a few), but even rarer have (in this humble writers opinion) exceeded the source material (The Shining...and I can't think of anything else). But in a nutshell, they (pardon my language) suck ass. Perfectly good books have been ruined (Dreamcatcher and The Ruins off the top of my head) due to movie people not only refusing to stick to source material, but for allotting proper resources to do the damn thing right. T.V. shows done this way is a good example. Anyone remember Dragon Ball: Evolution? No. Either you refused to watch it (lucky), or you did watch it and promptly either repressed the memory or chose to eliminate it from their minds altogether before they felt like taking the Oedipus route and plucking the eyes out of their own heads. And although comic movies are in right now, and some are pretty good, quite a number of them achieved suckatude on an almost biblical scale. Electra...suck. Fantastic Four...lame. Howard the Duck...you know, I could go on, but I think I might just stroke out. Oh, and last but not least, let us not forget the video games. I honestly cannot think of any video game adaptations and think that any of them where even passable.
So, why do they fail. First, lack of following of source material. Ultimate example, Dragonball: Evolution. Kept the name of characters. Thats it. When you have such a cult following and say, hmmm, nope, go with something new. But keep the character names...that will make the fanboys happy at least. Same goes with dreamcatcher. Second, lack of monies kills. Now I am not saying just throw money for the sake of throwing. But at least provide a reasonable goddamn budget. Cheaper is not always better. Third, choosing a series that was incredibly successful and trying to put it into a different format for the sake of greed. No. Fucking no. This applies to all video games thus far made. Do you honestly believe that you can take something with 30+ hours of interactivity and condense it into 90 minute film? So again, fucking no. Interesting side note, the last tip of fail is often combined with previous two to create a true genocide of a film.
How to succeed, or at least get onto the road of not creating movies whose only purpose is firewood or human waste receptacles? For starters, avoid doing stupid shit as mentioned above. Follow the original story. It was popular in the first place jackass, so at least by following the original story somewhat will help you avoid disaster. Give your film a proper budget. Now Im not saying just throw money at a project. Lesson learned from Waterworld. But at least give them money enough to give them a chance. Don't put video games into movies. It ends badly. If you have to put it into another format, think mini-series or television, so you don't have to go crazy with cuts just to get a watchable product. Japanese do it and it works. This bit also applies to all other source material. And finally, and most importantly, dont be fucking greedy. Alot of problems would simply not exist if greed were taken out of the equation. Without greed, shit like Star Wars Holiday Special wouldn't exist. Don't do something only for the effect that a few extra bucks could be earned out of it. Make a decent product so that we the viewer feel we wisely spent ten bucks to see it.
That is my rant. Hope you liked it. If you don't, fuck you. I don't care anyway.
So, why do they fail. First, lack of following of source material. Ultimate example, Dragonball: Evolution. Kept the name of characters. Thats it. When you have such a cult following and say, hmmm, nope, go with something new. But keep the character names...that will make the fanboys happy at least. Same goes with dreamcatcher. Second, lack of monies kills. Now I am not saying just throw money for the sake of throwing. But at least provide a reasonable goddamn budget. Cheaper is not always better. Third, choosing a series that was incredibly successful and trying to put it into a different format for the sake of greed. No. Fucking no. This applies to all video games thus far made. Do you honestly believe that you can take something with 30+ hours of interactivity and condense it into 90 minute film? So again, fucking no. Interesting side note, the last tip of fail is often combined with previous two to create a true genocide of a film.
How to succeed, or at least get onto the road of not creating movies whose only purpose is firewood or human waste receptacles? For starters, avoid doing stupid shit as mentioned above. Follow the original story. It was popular in the first place jackass, so at least by following the original story somewhat will help you avoid disaster. Give your film a proper budget. Now Im not saying just throw money at a project. Lesson learned from Waterworld. But at least give them money enough to give them a chance. Don't put video games into movies. It ends badly. If you have to put it into another format, think mini-series or television, so you don't have to go crazy with cuts just to get a watchable product. Japanese do it and it works. This bit also applies to all other source material. And finally, and most importantly, dont be fucking greedy. Alot of problems would simply not exist if greed were taken out of the equation. Without greed, shit like Star Wars Holiday Special wouldn't exist. Don't do something only for the effect that a few extra bucks could be earned out of it. Make a decent product so that we the viewer feel we wisely spent ten bucks to see it.
That is my rant. Hope you liked it. If you don't, fuck you. I don't care anyway.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The end of an era
"So here is my story, may it bring
Some smiles and a tear or so,
It happened once upon a time,
Far away, and long ago,
Outside the night wind keens and wails,
Come listen to me, the Teller of Tales!"
-Brian Jacques (Lord Brocktree)
If you have not yet heard, this past weekend, the world lost one of its great authors, as well as a personal favorite of mine. On February fifth, Brian Jacques died of a heart attack at the age of 71. Those of you who are not aware of who he is, here is a brief overview. He is a British author who is most well known for the Redwall series, a series of books accounting the adventures of the animals of Mossflower on an almost Lord of the Rings scale. Recently, he was also working on a series called Castaways of the Flying Dutchman, which is also superb. His books have sold more than 20 million copies worldwide and have been translated into 27 different languages.
Beyond the straight facts, he was also one of my favorite authors, as well as a favorite among many others. A great deal of my childhood was spent stooped over his book, following the adventures of the Long Patrol, the denizens of Redwall and Salamandastron, the Guossom, and many others. He will be deeply missed.
Some smiles and a tear or so,
It happened once upon a time,
Far away, and long ago,
Outside the night wind keens and wails,
Come listen to me, the Teller of Tales!"
-Brian Jacques (Lord Brocktree)
If you have not yet heard, this past weekend, the world lost one of its great authors, as well as a personal favorite of mine. On February fifth, Brian Jacques died of a heart attack at the age of 71. Those of you who are not aware of who he is, here is a brief overview. He is a British author who is most well known for the Redwall series, a series of books accounting the adventures of the animals of Mossflower on an almost Lord of the Rings scale. Recently, he was also working on a series called Castaways of the Flying Dutchman, which is also superb. His books have sold more than 20 million copies worldwide and have been translated into 27 different languages.
Beyond the straight facts, he was also one of my favorite authors, as well as a favorite among many others. A great deal of my childhood was spent stooped over his book, following the adventures of the Long Patrol, the denizens of Redwall and Salamandastron, the Guossom, and many others. He will be deeply missed.
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